As I’ve mentioned in one of my earlier blog posts, I am a people pleaser. I love taking care of others and making their lives easier.
I love that part of myself, but as I’ve learned through a therapy session this can make me put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself.
In order to better deal with my anxiousness, I’ve had to make a couple of mindset shifts.
These two mindset shifts have proved to be the most helpful for me and I hope they will be for you too!
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Not everything is going to be “perfect”
Nothing in life is perfect in my opinion. Life is too messy, complex, and ever-changing to achieve this level of perfection that a lot of us have created for ourselves.
I am what I like to call a “recovering perfectionist.” I expect a lot from myself, but for a long time, I thought I had to be everything and do everything for everyone.
I never even realized this until I was sitting through a therapy session discussing some stressors from work when all of the sudden my therapist goes “It sounds like you put a lot of pressure on yourself to get everything right.”
Well.. yeah, I guess so. But as we dug deeper, I realized I never cut myself a break on anything EVER which in return only fueled my anxiousness.
Not everything is going to be perfect and you cannot be everything and do everything for everyone.
I still strive to be my best self, but I can now acknowledge when I am putting too much pressure on myself and take a step back. Whether that means the house goes 4 days without being vacuumed, we order take out or I don’t get my workout done that day.
I’m no longer striving to check everything off a checklist. I’m more focused on living a fulfilling life full of love, laughter, and friends/family.
If you are someone that is also a perfectionist and puts a lot of pressure on yourself, I encourage you to implement a new system.
Instead of insisting that you need to get every single thing done today, make a new list:
Step 1:
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Write down the things that absolutely must happen every day within your home (we all have obligations that cannot be skipped or that are important for us to not miss).
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For me, I have to scoop the cat litter daily, feed my animals/change their water, and make my bed.
Step 2:
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Then write down the things that you might like to accomplish daily, but if they don’t happen it will be ok.
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Examples could include vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the bathroom, etc.
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Next, make a list of the things that must happen for your own personal self-care daily. These should be things that help relieve stress and keep you feeling happy and confident.
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This list could include exercising, getting outside, meditating, eating healthy foods, or using a face mask.
Step 4:
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Lastly, write down your work obligations. Your actual work obligation, not the extra pressure that you may put on yourself to make everything perfect.
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Once you are finished, you may realize that there are way too many things on those lists to be able to complete every day.
Step 5:
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Narrow down your list. Choose 3 to 5 house chores that must be completed daily and 2 to 3 self-care activities.
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And then ACTUALLY cut yourself a break on the other things on your list. If those things happen today, great. If they don’t, that's completely fine!
2. My productivity does not determine my worth as a person
For a long time, I’ve struggled with my purpose in life. I am multi-passionate and have always felt a calling in so many directions.
Whenever I felt unsure of what God had put me on this earth to do, I would get so down on myself. Any time I took time to rest, I felt like I was wasting time on this precious earth.
I felt that I needed to be busy all the time- at home, work, and in my social life. Without even realizing it, I would get down on myself when I wasn’t being productive all the time.
I was stuck in the mentality that being busy/productive determined my worth as a person.
This has been a really hard mindset to break and I am still working on it every single day.
One of the things I’ve found the most helpful? It may seem silly, but honestly following business owners on social media that keep it real. They remind me of how important it is to take time away from work and productivity.
I also follow a lot of women of faith that own their own businesses and often reiterate that we are loved by God unconditionally. He doesn’t care how productive you have been today. He loves you just as you are.
Surround yourself with positive influences and remember that your worth can never be determined by your productivity. You are amazing just by being you!
I hope these mindset shifts were helpful. Let me know what other mindset shifts you have had to make in order to be a happier, less stressed version of you!