It took me years to actually begin taking medicine for my anxiety. This was partly because I was against medicine myself. I was convinced that I could fix my anxiety through natural methods alone. I was also swayed by friends and family that weighed in with their opinions.
Most people view medication with a very negative connotation. They hear about the horrible side effects or chance of addiction and think no, thank you (all completely valid concerns and thoughts). I was raised in a family that had this viewpoint. I went to a small, conservative school that never really taught much about mental health or the options for people that have anxiety or depression.
I am 100% for all the natural methods of dealing with anxiety. I exercise regularly and eat in a health-conscious way. I use essential oils. I meditate. I regularly spend time outside. I spend time with friends and family. I have gone to therapy (briefly, but something I probably should continue).
Even while doing all of these things, I was still unable to manage my anxiety effectively. I had trouble sleeping and experienced chest pain. I would have extreme nausea in the morning to the point where I would sometimes throw up. There were some days that I could barely function and the thought of tackling the pile of dishes in the sink was enough to send me over the edge.
I held strong to the fact that I wasn’t going to take medication. Jesse wasn’t against the idea but wasn’t necessarily for me being on medication if I didn’t need to be. I had friends that had a very positive opinion of medicine for dealing with anxiety and told me how much it had helped them. But I also heard the exact opposite opinion. I was my own worst critic. Constantly telling myself that I shouldn’t rely on medicine. That I could figure it out without it.
I finally hit a point where I knew I couldn’t keep living with the amount of anxiety that I was having. I made an appointment with my doctor and explained to them everything that I didn’t want for my medication. I had a lot of potential side effects that I was looking to avoid. She wrote me a prescription and I was on my way.
My first experience with medication was absolutely horrible. I was supposed to take a pill right before I went to bed. I took the pill for two nights and decided that I was done. They made me feel like a complete zombie. I felt as though I couldn’t feel any emotions. It also affected my sleep. I began waking up at midnight and would be unable to fall back to sleep for the rest of the night. Most of the side effects that I did not want, I experienced while taking this.
This experience only reinforced my thoughts that medication was not an option for me. A lot of my family and friends supported the stop of my medication and I continued to go about my life (no less stressed or anxious than I had been before). I finally decided to change doctors and try something new.
Having a doctor that truly listened to my concerns about medicine and chose accordingly truly made all the difference. I was put on a new medication and did not experience any side effects with it whatsoever. I was ecstatic to finally have something that was making a significant difference.
But then the negative opinions started back up. I was told so many times that “this was a good temporary fix until I could manage it on my own.” These comments weren’t meant to be hurtful in any way, but they made me feel like I had failed. As though I should have been able to do this without them and that I should get off them as fast as possible.
It took a while for me to realize that there is nothing wrong with needing to be on medication for my anxiety. When I wasn’t taking medication, I was the one that was suffering. Therefore, I am the one that ultimately has to decide what works best for me. For me, that means taking medicine and using natural methods so that I don’t have to increase my dosage. For someone else, it may look entirely different and that's ok.
As a society, we need to end the stigma that people experience when it comes to mental health, and specifically when it comes to being on medication for anxiety or depression. Taking medicine does not make you weak. There is nothing wrong with taking pills when they are needed.
If someone told you they had to take medication for asthma or allergies, most people probably wouldn’t think anything of it. I doubt their first response would be “I’m glad this is helping, but get off that medication as soon as you can.” Mental health conditions are just as important as physical. Anxiety and depression can absolutely lead to death when they are not treated properly. They can affect a persons’ entire quality of life.
I have experienced the stigma and reluctance that comes with taking medication for my anxiety. I am here to say, please do not let someone elses’ opinion change what you know is helpful for you. Educate yourself, have open, honest conversations with your doctor, have an ongoing dialogue with your significant other, and be open to trying new coping strategies. However, you are in charge of your body (both your physical and mental health) and I completely believe that YOU know what is best for you.